Am I ready for coaching?

Am I ready for coaching? The DWBC Filters

The coaching journey is a journey of self-discovery, and awareness of emotional-cognitive-behavioural dynamics, for someone even spiritual and transcendental. For both effectiveness and efficiency to be at their peak, both the coach and the coachee must be prepared for a change. Sometimes the coach removes blockages, sometimes the coach provides real-life tools to be implemented. But, how can we figure out readiness? To what degree, someone contemplating coaching can prepare for the journey? How could they know whether or not they might benefit from the coaching journey?

Concerning the first question, “How can we figure out readiness”, I picked an interesting and easy scheme from a coach I have been studying from. Her name is Dr. Chérie Carter-Scott and her scheme is called D W B C, which stands for Desire, Willingness, Belief, Commitment. She suggested to all of us students to always check these four points to avoid wasting our time, our clients’ time, our clients’ money, our reputation, and so on down to the descending spiral. This scheme has to be seen under the lens of the potential change that coaching could apport. Desire (to change): this is something almost everyone has, the desire for change is a human instinct, we want to be better, we want to feel better, and we want to live better, hence Desire is practically always present. Then comes the W, Willingness (to change). This already creates a huge difference from the precedent. Is the person Willing to change, or just desiring it? Oftentimes we complain about a situation, a bad habit, or a bad something BUT are we really willing to take responsibility, take control and use our true will to change for the betterment? Desire, we said, is practically always present, the Willingness we are understanding might not be always there. After a good check on the previous two, we check on the third: Belief. Belief (in the change and belief in own capabilities). The coachee must believe in her/his own capabilities to reach the change(s) targeted. S/He has to believe that the change is going to be for the better and s/he will be proudly the main actor/ actress. The coachee is the protagonist, the driver, and the leader of her/his own life. Believe that belief. Fourth: C for Commitment (to implement and maintain the change). During the coaching journey, the coachee is typically asked to experiment and introduce new behaviours, or interventions, or conversations. The point here is comprehending whether or not the coachee has the Commitment to the implementation and maintenance. There might be uncomfortable experiments to implement, and unpleasant conversations to undertake, the coachee must be committed during the coaching and after the coaching finishes. Commitment means as well to maintaining the change achieved and furthermore improving it. The coaching does not involve 2 hours, coaching is not something You buy and You have, coaching is something You must work on, You must make those concepts and revelatory moments deeply Yours in order to witness tangible real-life changings.

The second question was “To what degree, someone contemplating coaching can prepare for the journey?”. I could respond with “why people would look out for a coach in the first place?” as I believe this could give a first glance at the topics, leading to comprehending the most suitable typology of coach and coaching and ultimately, how to prepare for the journey. I am sharing the results of three surveys of coaching clients conducted by the International Coach Foundation, they found that people seek out life coaching to help with several core issues (ICF 1998, ICF 2004, ICF 2009). Self-Confidence, Time-Management, Work-Life Balance, Overall Performance, Career Opportunities, Improving Relationships, Interpersonal and Communication Skills, Family Dynamics, Physical Fitness and Wellbeing. As we can notice, several different topics imply several different approaches that imply several different outcomes. We can only talk broadly in this phase. The coachee before the journey can recall the four DWBC filters, can embrace the change, and accept the challenges. I personally noticed that starting to meditate and slow down provides calm and awareness, it reduces distractions and provides a sense of feeling re-focused. The coachee who wants to prepare for the journey can make her/himself ready to let go of something in order to welcome something new. Empty the cup.

Third, How could someone know whether or not there might be any benefit from the coaching journey? You could benefit from EI Coach if You are longing to know Your Inner Self, Align -Emotions with -Thoughts and consequently -Actions. An EI Coaching journey might empower You with calmness if You experience inner conflicts between heart and mind, self-doubting and overthinking. It could empower with Emotional Freedom, crucial if sometimes You feel forced to act a certain way although You do not want, and if You feel struggling to take action for example. EI coaching is learning Self-Care on a larger spectrum, this is critical if sometimes You fall into self-destructive behaviours that You Yourself don’t consider nice, nor beneficial, or senseless. Having an EI Coach facilitates the overcoming of challenges and adversities thanks to the Resilience-based intervention and Practical Philosophy’s rooted conversations. EI helps reduce and dissipate inner fights, imposter syndrome, and more self-esteem-linked issues. Creative and Deep Thinkers hugely benefit from EI coaching by gaining Emotional Independence and Freedom. If You are a person that experiences Emotions (I truly trust You are), and/or You consider Yourself a High Sensitive Person (HSP) You probably will benefit the most from embarking on an EI coaching journey.

If You fight back Your emotions, if You do what You have to do, instead of what You feel to do, the best beginning point would be from “Embodiment and Understanding of emotions” before talking about “Regulation and Management”, leading ultimately to the final phase of “Productive Usage of Emotions”. These three phases are what EI Coaching aims to empower the Coachee with.

Concluding, You might find EI beneficial when You feel the need for a private, confidential, and safe “thinking, reflective space” with a professional rather than a relative or a friend or a colleague. A space of Confidentiality, Free from Judgement, free from Consequences. A place where You are deeply Listened to, Comprehended and Supported, unconditionally. That so-called Safe Container.

If You’d like to know more about the topic, You can find a 10min reading pdf in the ‘files’ section, and a case study. Instead, if You favour a dialogue about Your unique scenario, please do contact me. I am always open and glad to meet another human!

Thanks for Your time, I hope I served.

Nick